Karma

Karma may take years, but I am a strong believer in its powers. Stress kills. They call it the silent killer because it is dealt with internally. Others may not be aware of how much the stressed person is suffering. I have always dealt horribly with stress. I take on the stress of anyone around me. It made me lose my hair once. I was  ambitious to the point of being a perfectionist in high school. 

I would work out for 2 hours a day because the apartment complex had a gym that no one used, I would study for hours--writing down the information manually, typing it on the computer, printing it out and then studying it. I would read several books for the "breadth and depth" aspect of information and I would push myself to either win the award, or be in the top of the class. 

I had enough stress to make my hair fall out. As though that was not horrible enough, my white blood count was high enough to where I had to be in treatment. I spoke about showing weaknesses yesterday, and for this reason alone, I learned to show my strength and hide the weaknesses. There are sick people in the world that take pleasure in another's pain. A "friend" used to tease me about my hair. He would call me "baldy" and ask how my chemotherapy was going--I did not have cancer but he found it funny. I recovered. I am healthy now, but I still cannot handle stress.      

I am at times too empathic and this has become dangerous to my health. I start to hyperventilate and I have even fainted several times. I used to wonder why in movies the police or messenger would ask that the receiver of bad news sit down before they receive the information, but I now understand completely. I feel weak when I hear bad news. The thought alone is powerful enough to make me faint. I had visited my friend who came close to death from kidney failure. While I was in the hospital, he used the language that the military doctor used 'almost expired'. Those two words made me faint. The doctors had to come to aid me because I was losing consciousness from the gravity of his condition. I care too much. 

I care about everyone and everything. I have always wanted to be everybody's friend and make the world at peace. War and violence worry me. I have tried to turn off the news. I once read that the news is a series of bad events, I believe that Louise Hay said that, I am not sure, but I concur. I cannot control the situation, but I can try to do my part in making the best of the results. Remember to take care of yourself first. I always try to care for others because it comes naturally to me and I end up neglecting my needs, but that is one lesson and the most powerful lesson of all: karma is powerful and certain. 

Thankfully, I have my hair and I am healthy. The "friend" that once teased my bald spots, he is balding--and he is only in his 20s. Karma may take seconds of decades, but it waits and it will be there. In conclusion, "Isn't it ironic, don't you think?" --Alanis Morrisette.     

The Bread and Circus

Study History. That is one subject that I feel strongly about because of the trite saying, "History repeats itself". History may not repeat itself in the contemporary in the same manner as it occurred in the past, but there will be certain recognizable themes: the classics.

The Bread and Circus refers to my least favorite celebrity: Lindsay Lohan. Sadly, Lindsay Lohan has become a classic. Let us forget about poverty, health care, unemployment, war and every other international and domestic issue in order to focus our attention on Lindsay Lohan and the Prince's wedding.

Ancient Romans were mesmerized by the welfare system that provided them with food and entertainment in order to divert their attention from the circumstances that would eventually topple their empire. Entertainment has sold many things--including death.

As a child, I used to watch cigarette advertisements on t.v. granted, this was before the counterarguments about cigarettes were introduced, but there were fewer anti-smoking campaigns than pro-smoking ones. Cigarettes looked like fun. I wanted candy cigarettes until I could get the real thing. There is a lawsuit against the mass killer: Phillip Morris and the corporation of death is deciding to defend themselves.

Cigarettes should be classified as an accessory to murder. I smoked for half of my life. I started overseas at a very young age. My hatred of cigarettes crossed over that thin line to a love of them. I was under the impression that it would be fun and relieve stress. It only created stress. I lost a friend of mine in her 20s due to a smoking-related illness and that made me realize that I was willingly killing myself for cigarettes.

Smokers often speak about the psychological aspects of smoking: associated with good times, certain people, memories and so forth. President Obama has quit smoking and has publicized it because he mentioned his struggle to quit for good while he was still bumming cigarettes. To think that cancer is not a strong enough reason for some to quit shows the power of the addiction. However, because there is not a formal intervention or rehabilitation center for smoking and it remains legal and despite the risk of death and the social stigma, people continue to smoke. I told a friend that she was choosing her addiction over me when she went outside to smoke a cigarette because I treat cigarette and alcohol addiction as serious as an opiate or prescription drug addiction.

Death is also sold in the form of synthetic medicines aka prescription drugs. I grew up overseas and for the majority of my life, I had only 3 channels and no commercials. The commercials were replaced with information about the military, history and other related topics: "Practice good OPSEC" how to conduct oneself in a foreign country and as a representative of the U.S. country and military. I was shocked when I saw one genre of commercials: Drug commercials; once illegal, are now ubiquitous.

The drug trend is sleeping pills. I have friends in the U.S. military who have been to war zones. They have developed severe PTSD--post traumatic stress disorder, alcohol issues and other forms of anxiety. The cure-all is sleeping pills--it used to be motrin. I grew up under the "care" of military hospitals. I believe the military does not care at all about dependents--I even heard that the pentagon does not keep numbers of dependents--but I was fortunate enough to have health care, which is a luxury today. Anything that ailed me, was supposedly curable with Motrin. I was cured so well that I continue to have stomach problems because I was administered Motrin for everything. Years later, sleeping pills is the trend.

Sleep away everything. Sleep away PTSD because you may be teased if you express that you have it. Mental health is ignored and numbed with sleeping pills. There are too many young people that I have seen return from a war with the war zone thousands of miles away but still at war in their mind. In military culture, stoicism is regarded as strength. PTSD is supposedly for weaklings because it is in the title, "The Departement of War," that your job--your mission-- is to be the war hero. Sad, but as a perpetual optimist, I think that the government will add more jobs that will help military members and families that suffer from such mental anguish. I think there will be more anonymity, so that the sufferer does not become a social pariah or teased by their superiors and co-workers. I think that there will be more scholarships and grants given to those who would dedicate themselves to helping rehabilitate these indispensable members of society.

As explained by Michel Thomas in one of his Spanish language cds: in Spanish, an apology is given as, "lo siento," from the verb, 'sentir, to feel'. We must begin to feel instead of simply offering an apology.