Karma

Karma may take years, but I am a strong believer in its powers. Stress kills. They call it the silent killer because it is dealt with internally. Others may not be aware of how much the stressed person is suffering. I have always dealt horribly with stress. I take on the stress of anyone around me. It made me lose my hair once. I was  ambitious to the point of being a perfectionist in high school. 

I would work out for 2 hours a day because the apartment complex had a gym that no one used, I would study for hours--writing down the information manually, typing it on the computer, printing it out and then studying it. I would read several books for the "breadth and depth" aspect of information and I would push myself to either win the award, or be in the top of the class. 

I had enough stress to make my hair fall out. As though that was not horrible enough, my white blood count was high enough to where I had to be in treatment. I spoke about showing weaknesses yesterday, and for this reason alone, I learned to show my strength and hide the weaknesses. There are sick people in the world that take pleasure in another's pain. A "friend" used to tease me about my hair. He would call me "baldy" and ask how my chemotherapy was going--I did not have cancer but he found it funny. I recovered. I am healthy now, but I still cannot handle stress.      

I am at times too empathic and this has become dangerous to my health. I start to hyperventilate and I have even fainted several times. I used to wonder why in movies the police or messenger would ask that the receiver of bad news sit down before they receive the information, but I now understand completely. I feel weak when I hear bad news. The thought alone is powerful enough to make me faint. I had visited my friend who came close to death from kidney failure. While I was in the hospital, he used the language that the military doctor used 'almost expired'. Those two words made me faint. The doctors had to come to aid me because I was losing consciousness from the gravity of his condition. I care too much. 

I care about everyone and everything. I have always wanted to be everybody's friend and make the world at peace. War and violence worry me. I have tried to turn off the news. I once read that the news is a series of bad events, I believe that Louise Hay said that, I am not sure, but I concur. I cannot control the situation, but I can try to do my part in making the best of the results. Remember to take care of yourself first. I always try to care for others because it comes naturally to me and I end up neglecting my needs, but that is one lesson and the most powerful lesson of all: karma is powerful and certain. 

Thankfully, I have my hair and I am healthy. The "friend" that once teased my bald spots, he is balding--and he is only in his 20s. Karma may take seconds of decades, but it waits and it will be there. In conclusion, "Isn't it ironic, don't you think?" --Alanis Morrisette.